'Twas the Night Before New Year's

‘Twas the Night Before New Year’s, Twenty-Twenty-One,

And all of us hoped the New Year would be one

That would help us leave Two-Thousand-Twenty behind,

And not be a year that would feel so unkind.

 

But we would not soon forget Twenty-Twenty –

You want a year full of events? We had plenty.

The year started off in the usual way,

With most of us living our lives day-to-day.

 

While in Washington, in a show of overreach,

House Democrats had cast a vote to impeach.

Never mind that they hadn’t the grounds or the cause,

That didn’t dissuade them, did not give them pause

 

No, they had determined they must make a stand

Against their arch-enemy, Bad Orange Man.

Predictably, when all the votes had been tallied,

They called to impeach. But the Senate then rallied,

 

And, finding Schiff’s arguments lacking a bit,

Rendered their votes on the case to acquit.

Congress thus spent the first month of the year

Wasting their time (which they’re best at, I fear).

 

Then came a new month, and the Super Bowl,

Would the Chiefs fin’lly achieve their loftiest goal?

It had been 50 long years since Len Dawson’s team

Had helped Kansas Citians realize their dream

 

Of winning the Big One, of wearing the crown;

Would this team repeat, or would they let us down?

The Niners appeared impossible to beat –

Could Andy Reid’s team really pull off this feat?

 

The path had been arduous, testing our mettle,

We came from behind time and again to settle

The score in the playoffs, so we felt prepared

Our confidence high, and our faith unimpaired.

 

In the Big Game, we were trailing once more,

But saved the fourth quarter to rally and score

Three more touchdowns. And so, from down 20 to 10,

The Chiefs emerged victorious in the end.

 

The town, how it rallied! We held a parade,

So happy our Champions all of us made!

The euphoria felt it would last the whole year –

But March Twenty-Twenty would dash our good cheer.

 

For out of Wuhan, a Chinese province,

Would come a new virus, one that would evince

Reactions of fear, reactions of dread,

Reactions of “Don’t believe what the news said.”

 

Did it start in a lab? Or in a meat stall?

Did a guy eat a raw bat, and unleash it all?

However it started, it began to spread

As the media helped to fill people with dread.

 

A nationwide shutdown was soon in the works,

Championed by Drs. Fauci and Birx.

“Flatten the curve!” was the cry of the day,

But, once accomplished, that goal soon gave way

 

To making sure no one, the young or the old,

Would become infected (with even a cold).

So, locked in our houses, with masks on our faces,

We had to stay home from our favorite places.

 

The rules were confusing; the guidance, it varied –

“Why the inconsistency?” many queried.

While others were happy to follow along;

If the CDC says it, it just can’t be wrong.

 

Mask or no mask? Three feet distant, or six?

Should I fear surface contact? The signals were mixed.

Is it safe to eat indoors? Safer outside?

Safe to go for a walk? In an airplane to ride?

 

Should restaurants open at half-full, or less?

Can we go to the gym? It was anyone’s guess.

Does it spread more in churches? In bars or salons?

There were myriad answers for how this thing spawns.

 

We soon learned the safest place; really, the best

Place to be – in a large crowd, a “peaceful” protest.

For the virus can’t spread when you fight for a cause,

Especially if it means getting your paws

 

On a new pair of Nikes, a big-screen TV,

An X-box, and maybe a new game or three.

And maybe the virus is killed by the smoke

Of businesses set on fire by the woke.

 

Amid all the madness, the lack of all reason,

We found ourselves in a strange election season.

One candidate campaigned, the other was hidin’,

As President Trump faced off against Joe Biden.

 

The polls, they misled us, the media suppressed,

While Facebook and Twitter did their very best

To make sure the messaging all remained skewed,

Giving their side the edge in the media feud.

 

Then the rules were all changed for the way people vote

(The virus was blamed – oh, we must stay remote!)

And the votes, they kept coming, in every swing state,

‘Til they put VP Biden on top of the slate.

 

The courts washed their hands like old Pilate of yore,

And it looked like Bad Orange Man would lead no more.

But you didn’t see protests, you didn’t see looting,

The lighting of fires, the litter, polluting,

 

No, life would go on for those opposed to Joe,

Resolved to make the best of where the winds blow.

(The woke say our “privilege” makes us feel this way;

But we’re just grown-ups, at the end of the day.)

 

And as the year closes, a “miracle’s” come true:

A vaccine is out! And not just one, but two!

As the President promised, the end is at hand,

And the grip of the ‘rona will soon leave our land.

 

(We’re now also testing, so the ratios will fall,

As state governments keep misleading us all

Into thinking those rates were as dire as they told us,

Believing we’d buy the BS that they sold us.)

 

So be not discouraged, and be of good cheer,

And let’s focus on making the coming year

Our best ever. For, through it all, we are blessed,

So yes, Twenty-Twenty-One can be our best.

 

Just remember: it matters not what job you hold,

You are essential. So be brave and bold.

Live your life freely in this coming year,

Lest you lose a year of it living in fear.

 

My sincere wish for all, young or old, near or far,

Is a prosperous New Year, whomever you are,

For prosperity, see, isn’t measured in gold,

Nor is it measured in what you can hold.

 

It’s measured in memories, measured in love,

So my wish for all is you have plenty of

The things that make life joyful, full of good cheer,

The things that can make for a wonderful year!